is zero

family-bound near crashing waves
while it is still fun taking pictures
of lanky boys with matted hair

sweating beer over sauteed mushrooms
the white caps I collect with my unmet aunt
keepsakes of fragrant grass and manure

when I land on my head split open already
by toolboxes or SUVs on fire or
failure to read not-a-step on aluminum ladders

seeing her cry at the heartbreak of
what will they say and what about family
and maybe you’ll be okay if I bring the priest

it’s in me he’s in me the coastal demon
and then gone and I’m left to wonder
if I even like that shit

pushing sister down the stairs
to see what that is like
guilt nice to meet you

but fuck off
the speed at which I die
is zero and I am eternal

//

infinite

as is the amount of bodies
on screen on paper outside our home
where shrapnel flies while I eat burritos

when I want to hold his hand
but cannot it is hard to say I love you
bound in duct tape at the passive end of a barrel

gun is on the menu noun of today
girls don’t know girls don’t know girls do not
fucking know if they will know anything tomorrow

finding chopped body parts in oil drums
but hey we’re all replaced have you seen
our birthrate

the same speed of our robbers
and our killers and those born from ballots
on sale for sale wholesale

to reach the finish line
we will people to our bend
and we hole the loop and we law the break

and I die fast
I do by god want to die
seems only fair